It seems like only yesterday that I know, now, today, he would have to return to her hometown. I do not know, often indeed we will feel something that is very valuable when we will, or have already lost. Yes, at this time, I feel lost. Losing a friend, teacher, friend, brother, friend, brother, or whatever his name. He's gone, but the footprints still made an impression in this small town. Moreover, he had scrawled something this beautiful inside. Something that probably will not I forget.
The first time I saw it, I was normal, there was no desire to know him more closely. Perhaps because of our age is too far away. She was a mother with two children who were funny-funny, I'm not married. Usually if mothers chatter like to be different, not like students or other young people (who are still idealistic), and I was a bit reluctant when I have to get too close to the mothers because sometimes chatter like "weird". Though someday I also want to and will become a mother.
Face implies that no tireless struggle, his face filled with a kink, gentleness, serenity, patience, thoughtful, loving. He who never menampakkah disappointed face, even though he often let down. He who never showed sadness, perhaps even in his heart he wanted to scream and cry. He is so concerned with the fate of the people, while himself, sometimes not so he cared. I realized how heavy a burden to be endured, and it made me even more want to cry, because they have to part with it, I wish I could be much longer with him in this struggle, in this small town.
"Sister, do not go!" I said a while
"Nia deck, you know why sister had to go out of town?" He still with poise that always be portrayed. "Firstly because the elderly sister was ill and no one took care" he continued.
"The second, because here less than optimal in missionary sister, brother often sad and crying. Not because the brother did not want to fight with you and friends here, but because of the conditions sister is no longer possible. You know how things go here instead of the sister family brother, sister went with a friend from college. Sister and also a single parent. Better sister with family brother, anyway propaganda can be anywhere, and sister will continue to move, fight in the way of this propaganda "
I know that she died in her husband lived. And that's one reason his move to the city, the city where I was born.
And this night was the highlight of my grief. Because Tomorrow, when the sun shines for the umpteenth time, I will not see again in this city, a city that I think this has been very crowded. Ah ... I feel like also went with him, leaving the city that makes me very ... very bored. I still want to learn, sit under a new person I know that. He is the true teacher, the teacher generation.
"This mandate sister and submit to you" I still remember his words when he persuaded me to take his place as the head of one division in one organization in my town.
"But I still need the guidance of an older brother, I have not been able to replace an older brother, I was too stupid, brother still have to be responsible for guiding me" I still circumvent the mandate was, as usual, because kekerdilanku.
"Brother will guide you from far away, we can still call it-telponan." Rayunya.
"Remember loh deck, never dismiss the mission mandate, preaching the path of glory. You will never lose on this path, instead you will be lucky and get the glory as the noble prophets and apostles, who always spread the message of God with propaganda. What you do not want to be with the Prophet later? "Pamungkasnya stance he took. If you have this, I can not say anything more.
Although aware of the sesadar-conscious, that Dawah must go on even if he goes, still I can never replace the real him, he's too special, can not be replaced, he had a place in the hearts of those who are here , Ah .... Once again I feel the burden on my chest and choke increasingly alone, smothering. How do I take the hearts of those who already love with Lia kak ya? It's nothing, however, even though we are well aware that the obligation of propaganda comes from God, not from man, but still needed a harmonious relationship among all that propaganda can work together, and one way is I have to take everyone's hearts in order to work same with me. Ah I so remember the story of Muhammad al-Fatih when newly appointed leader, and the people still behind him with his father, al-fatih at that time can not take away the hearts of its people. As a result, he has not been successful against the enemy, because of lack of support. But al-fatih finally able to conquer the hearts of people, and it proceeds. Yes process! That's what I should do.
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Twilight is made soluble long grief. I hate this atmosphere. I wanted to run away, avoiding all. But ....... Once again I doubt the decision. Arrrrrrghhhhhh ............
I was still too green to carry out the mandate that I think is so heavy, I have not been able to. O God, what should I do?
I tried to dismiss all doubts, I want to do all this process, I have to be sure, and the words came back to him Kak Lia.
"The belief is the main capital in this fight, with confidence, we can gain the victory, adek still remember how the conquest of Constantinople? The main capital of al-fatih is a strong belief in God, so that he is able to see the victory of the conquest of Constantinople, armed with the belief that al-fatih vigorously pursue all the strength to be able to weaken the enemy. ".
Okay, I have to be sure, but where I get the conviction that, while I have not had much experience? Waaaaahhhhhh .... I'm getting dizzy just.
I Have No Idea ... ..
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Days passed was so fast, I'm getting used to my new mandate, and began to gradually forget the taste of my loss as a beloved sister was away. Apparently, if all lived with sincerity, everything will feel light and easy. Patience and sincerity are two things that must be held in this struggle. Mirroring the struggle of the Prophet, Her through all the torment, abuse, insults, and various other obstacles with patience and sincerity, and of course the confidence of His promise will win this Dien later. And finally, the Prophet with great treatise, has been able to remove the Arabs from darkness to bright light. not only Arabs, but was able to build a glorious civilization, which humanize humans, subhanallah .... Even Michael H. Hart in his book, 100 most influential figures in history, puts Muhammad as the first rank at the top of Isaac Newton and the Prophet Isa. It is remarkable him.
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I went back to my routine as usual. But I started thinking, to produce something extraordinary takes tremendous work well, something that has never been done by anyone else. Recalling the spirit of al-fatih, when his teacher Sheikh Shamsuddin AAQ give tausiyahnya to al-fatih, that to be able to win the battle in addition to major capital conviction is, do something that has never been done. Unbelievably, it never occurred previously by others, finally al-Fatih hauling their boats through the land, not the sea. Aha ... .. I have to do something! I do not know, the spirit of al-Fatih me burning, want to get out of this shell.
Struggling Can Lose. Not Fight It definitely Lose.
