Bismillah ...
Seconds end of the year it finally passed. Leaving a pile of events and memory that had adorned my days. Too melancholy indeed if I lament the times never returned it. Precious time that has been bestowed by God, but often do not realize its existence. So I was negligent and prefer to scatter every second of it for something worthless ...
But alas, too late for regrets. And now, what should I do ???
As usual, every end of year, 2 years, I'm more reflect, rethink every event that occurred since the beginning of last year ...
Early 2015
I'm still sad over the loss of friends, and periods of high school, the future really will never be replaced. At the beginning of that year, I was still able to send sms to all high school friends who knew her mobile number. Congratulate the new year they will once again remind our memories. Wah feels sad ... Many who responded smsku, and until now, I still keep sms reply from them on the phone.
I still remember the turn of the year 2014-2015 was very sad taste. Do not know why, something was missing, something that can not be returned. And I know for sure, something that is high school years earlier. A hit that is really fun. Be a Light STAR, that I could catch myself if recalled from high school.
But now, it has passed, it's time to try and start a story line with a different narrative. Which is far from the influence of past glories. Difficult indeed, and it makes me feel scared, if you have fallen sharply lose rays of brilliance in college very difficult to achieve. It is like a prison puzzle that seemed very difficult to solve.
Then, month after month the lecture re-run. Busy times very tiring. In addition to flurry for college, the obsession to re-try your luck in the arena SNCA began teasing. Wahh ... if remembered, it was the most difficult moments in my life after the first in 2015 SNCA Stress divide their time between studying SNCA with UAS learning for the second half makes me bored and uncomfortable with life. What a terrible condition, everything tasted mengelayuti mind, between kedihan loss glorious times, obsession delayed, and the future certainly being and must be faced ...
I do not know which ones should be prioritized. I lead it all clearly, studying furiously for two completely different things, obsession uncertain, and the future is certainly being undertaken. And the result is I both failed to both. SNCA failed (Time it I Just take one option and you know what is it) and so does the value of the second half that could not kupertahankan stability (And now I am trying to make it better)
Stress, sadness, remorse came back to haunt when in the middle of the year I returned to hear the success and failure of juniors who alternated in choosing a college. Hmmmm .... O God, why this self still not clever to be grateful ???
Finally, the light coming ....
Divine light that leads me to think back clean, back led me to live the essence of life and purpose in this world. Do we live only for worldly success? Pride outward instead?
No !!! Not !! it was wrong, we were created in this life is to serve him. Our long term goal is Ridho God !! Our Long Term Vission is To meet with Our God, GOD in the heaven, so why regret something you've surely lead us to our true goal !!! Not necessarily what we expect is that best for our future. God who knows better what is best for me and for you. May be I received nothing I wanted, but I received everything I needed. Yeah, that's right. This is the best way for me. I'll try to believe that. May be everyone look and feel poor me stupid to me, but I'm sure that I could get something better and best with my condition. Just God that know what is it ...
I started merangkaki third semester with passion and dreams, especially to fix all the things already be bad. But Allah is most dear to his servant turns and pick us (me and seekers of knowledge in PSIK) to feel the trials which God willing spirit drove us to better and to be closer to him. Our dream classmates who want to make up the value of constrained because the curriculum SBC Into Curriculum 2013 that has changed. And many other obstacles that hinder our desire. But Alhamdulillah everything can be encountered due to our persistence.
Next ... Mid-2015 is the time for me to start merinris true friendship as high school. I began to see the figures chosen were appointed by God to accompany my days in the face of their lives and I can reap the many life lessons that unfold through various stories of different personalities. Hmmmm ... I hope this ukhuwah run more beautiful, more than just a normal friendly relations.
One by one the life story strung together neatly in the beautiful days of the year 2015. Starting from the story of happy, sad, bored, stressed, fun, everything will never regret, because this is the way, this is the life line that has been established by God for me. Everything must have the wisdom. Everything must have the purpose why be attributed to me.
No one knew and could determine for yourself what life in the future. But they are entitled to dream of life like what she wants. And the passing of a dream that they will fight and, e, position and direct his life as he aspired.
Actually, the new year just as a symbol of the beginning, but in fact we can start a new back what we had planned. And that's what I think and want kususn sedag kemabali. Because Life must be go on. Life should still be executed. And I do not want the life that I run stir with a full vanity and unfocused.
Dear Allah. Servant just an ordinary man, who tries to draw himself a servant to stay close to Thee. O God, man can only plan, but only Thou step that the regulator of all plans. O God, graciously all resolutions and targets servants in the new year. Amiien